recognizing daddy

dear connor,

it amazes me how intelligent you are at just one year old (17 months to be exact).  at 5 months old you started saying "dada" when i showed you pictures of your deployed father.  i couldn't believe my ears when i realized it wasn't a coincidence... you really recognized who your father was at such a young age (without him being around).  it was so mind blowing.

fast fowarding to now your progress with daddy has been nothing short of miraculous to me.  daddy has been away for most of your life yet you recognize his voice, his face, and even his ring tone on my phone.  you switched from "dada" to "daddy"... you light up his world when he see's you or hears your voice.  you say "louie" cuter than anyone i have ever heard.  you put a smile on our faces.  you are simply amazing!

there are things i wish i could explain to about why your daddy is away.  i want you to understand how exceptional of a father you are so blessed to have... so maybe i can give you a glipse of him and what i would love for you to understand now...

• daddy is a hero for america as he fights overseas for our freedoms here in the states.  your daddy has seen, heard, and experienced things that no 24 year old should.  he is trained to protect us and he does a darn good job. 
• daddy is giving up his original dream of being an active duty lifer in the army because he realized how much more important being a father to you is for him.  he loves you more than he will probably ever be able to show you.  you are his world and his first born son.  you are his pride and joy, you are who he brags about, you are an incredible accomplishment for him.
• daddy hasn't gone a whole day without thinking about how much he misses you.  he missed out on many milestones, but not without me being incredibly proud of him for staying strong for our family and protecting our country.  daddy can't wait to catch up with you.
• daddy is a simple person, a really simple man.  he wants nothing more than love from those he loves.  he hasn't had an easy childhood but he hasn't ever dwelled on that.  he has prevailed through things he never expected. 
• daddy's time away from our family is what makes us who we are.  love will always keep us together.  love is the reason why we are still together.  love has never failed us.

it is difficult to put into words how much your father means to me.  i can't imagine life without him and i am more than willing to give up years with him while he is fighting overseas.  life as his wife hasn't always been easy.  nothing about being married to a soldier is easy, but it is a true honor and your father humbles me.  he makes me realize how much money doesn't buy, how much love matters more than anything, and how much he appreciates us in his life.  he is such a special person.

just remember as you grow up and make choices in the world, you can always turn to daddy to help lead you in the right direction.  he has been down the wrong path's and knows how to detour to the right road.  he is a fighter.  he is a hero.  he is your daddy forever and you are so lucky to have him.

with all my love,
mom